Rule #1 Please, Don't Text and Concert

Hello, All!

Summer is right around the corner and technically, with Memorial Day over, I say

It's Here! 

Minor detail, it's still summer!!!!

The time of year where we can run, eat, play, or do anything and everything you've been wanting to do outdoors without freezing your butt off. (NOTE: I don't know what exactly YOU want to do outside so I hold no legal obligation for your choices...)

Running has not been on the list of things to do outdoors (or at all) for me this past week due to some severe stomach issues. What I thought was just a result of being hungry at the race, or the impact that putting 40+ miles on in a week can have on one's digestive system turns out was/is a BIT more serious; as in I can't eat....like ever.....for 11 days now....

How I Feel When
I Can't Run 

Now don't worry, I'm working with my physician to figure out the culprit be it a gall bladder issue, intestinal (if that ends up being the case, then I'll be following this up with a, "TOLD YOU SO!" as I have been put on record since 2014 saying that things have not been right in my stomach since my daughter was born), or what not. 

Until then, I have to focus on not perpetuating the issue, and have only put on 20 miles in the last 11 days. 

Ughhhhhh..........................

Anyway, from a positive viewpoint, this is going to be my first blog post that is NOT entirely, or even remotely, about running! In fact, it's completely motivated by another love of my life that I have spoke of in a previous post:

MUSIC. 

Concerts, concerts everywhere!

Outside of enjoying all the running outdoors that comes over the summer, my equally favorite thing to do is go to the many opportunities to hear music in our community. From downtown Green Bay, to St. Norbert's Knights on the Fox, to the Botanical Gardens, Mile of Music, and Waterfest in Oshkosh, there are sooooo many opportunities to check of the plethora of local, national, and worldwide talent that visits our area each summer.

And what isn't to love about it!?!? Music is this amazing universal language that brings people together to sing, dance, and connect; most often in a fun, light atmosphere. It brings a crowd of otherwise strangers together, perhaps bonding over a favorite song or the enjoyment of a particular artist's expression of their work.

 

I was raised listening to and playing music. John Prine, Cat Stevens, James Taylor, Loudon Wainwright III...these are the people that remind me of my childhood. If I were to reflect on my favorite memories as a child it would be sitting around a campfire out camping with my family and singing songs. In fact, it took me until I was like 20 to realize that my parents did not actually write the song, "Dead Skunk". Seriously. I thought we made it up....and then I was kind of sad that we didn't....

Music makes me happy. Music pumps me up before a big event or race. Music comforts me when I'm sad or needing to reflect.

Music is a part of who I am. 

As an adult, I am so honored and thankful that I get to spend my professional career as a performer. There's no better feeling to me than having someone listen to and appreciate your work; to understand the amount of dedication and effort you put into each song and each performance.

And this of course can be said in all professions no doubt. Whether you work in retail, the service industry, construction....There's no better feeling than having someone appreciate what you do.

But when it comes to music, to writing music or performing, it's essentially like opening up your personal journal, your diary (I imagine mine to be hot pink with a kitten on the front) and reading it to song in front of people you don't know, hoping they like it.

This personal aspect that is put into the artistry is why I felt driven to write this blog post after attending a local concert this past week in good 'ol Green Bay, WI featuring Nick Jaina, Boom Forest, and Stelth Ulvang.

Initially, I was super stoked to see not only the popup concert  with this group of performers occurring in our small community, but the chosen venue, Titletown Roof Tap, is a super sweet space. If you haven't been there yet, I highly recommend it!

Unfortunately, despite the talent, the venue, and all things that went into making this a great experience, I'm going to say this once and I stand by my opinion:

Green Bay, WI - You SUCK at being concert-goers 

Now I don't know if it was just one of those nights, or the fact the main act, Stelth Ulvang, is a currently touring member of the wildly popular (and amazing) band The Lumineers. But, I feel like everyone who wanted to be in a cool club but had no clue in hell why they were actually there was out in full force that night. 

I was truly embarrassed by how the artists were treated by that crowd. 

Before I get into the specifics of what went down, I would say, "Never in my life...." have I experienced what I did last night, but, being a performer, that would be a lie. These types of things happen all the time. However, for some reason they were happening for about 85% of those at the venue, and with out remorse or resolve...even after persistent attempts by the venue owner and artists themselves.  

So without further ado, let me explain last night's happenings to you in a little list that I'm calling

Maybe they were there for the $50
tables...cause these cool people
scored the FREE couch! Boom!

Please, Don't Text And Concert...And Rules Of How NOT To Not Be a Douche While Attending A Concert 

#1 Please, Don't Text and Concert 

Multiple Choice: During a concert, where should your phone be? 

A. In the air blocking the view for the person behind you

B. In your hand as you clearly have to Snapchat this shit so everyone knows how cool you are 

C. Maybe taking a quick pic and then putting it back in your pocket 

D. They make phones that aren't attached to walls now? 

I know I'm in my 30s, and I knew one day this would come, but seriously, I wanted to take the phone out of the 20-something year-old girl next to me's hands and throw it out the window. 

Maybe I was just jealous of her
self-abilities 

In the time between the second and third acts, she Snapchatted roughly 12 times, texted the entirety of both concerts (well, between screaming, "Whoooo! You're hot!" at the end of each song) and made sure to update her Instagram and Facebook pages with live shots of how much she was enjoying this concert. 

Needless to say, she didn't "get laid" by the lead singer of Boom Forest, and I saw her friends dragging her home down the main street after the show was over. (I might have honked...just kidding, but I thought about it....) 

People, repeat after me: A musician is a person. 

This is two-fold:

1. Treat them with respect. If you come to hear them play, put down your phone and give them your attention

2. They can see and hear you.

I can't count the number of times that I've played Canon in D in my life. Nothing wrong with this, it's a beautiful song. However, sometimes when I play it I go on auto-pilot, and I hear and see everything that's going on around me. And you know that super popular song that your favorite artist performs on stage every night? 

That's probably their Canon in D. 

Sooooo....SHOCKER: They can SEE and HEAR you. 

Texting on your phone and screaming only when the song is over? Yeah, they know. Making rude or sexual comments about they way they look? Yeah, not appreciated. 

Or let me sum it up like this.....

If someone came into your work and you were trying to tell them about this big, big project you had worked YEARS to complete and all they did is yell, "You're hot!" and text and make duck lips with their friends while you were pouring your heart out?
Yeah, it's like that.... 

So put down your phone and pay attention. 

#2 SHUT UUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!!! And/Or Dance With Me 

Multiple Choice: When you listen to music (in your car, headphones, live, etc.), do you:

A. Also turn on the sound of 300 people talking at the same time

B. Start talking as loud as you can so as to potentially drowned out and/or talk over the music 

C. Continously ignore an owners, musicians, and others requests to stop talking so that others might be able to enjoy the music 

D. All of the above 

This is the utmost reason I was so embarrassed for my hometown the other night: 

85% of that venue chose D. 

After NUMEROUS attempts by the venue owner, the artists, and then also the main act to tell people to stop talking or go outside if they wanted to talk, the talking level never dwindled. Not once. 

Looking around, I feel like there must have been a convo like this that occurred for those people who bought tickets to a SOLD OUT, house max of 300 show and didn't listen to a damn song: 

"Hey, Brah, you want to go see a concert with me tomorrow, brah?" 

"Yah, Brah, who is it?" 

"Who cares, it's only like $25 bucks and I was told that it's someone cool and so that'll make us really cool if we go to it, Brah. Plus it's at a brewery so we can get super tanked, talk really loud and totally ignore the concert." 

"Yah, Brah, let's do it."

"Let's also pay a ton of money for a table right up front and then just turn our backs to the musician and totally not listen to anything that he's doing while blocking the view of other people." 

"Cool, Brah, I'll see you there." 

"Sweet, Brah, let's also make sure to wear our matching button-ups and other currently hip attire." 

Okay, that last part might have been made up, but you get the point.... 

If you aren't going to hear the music, then don't go. Pretty simple. I'm all about people coming to try out new things, even if they don't know who's performing (ahem, guy standing next to me...). But if you are going to come just to say "I was totally there" you're ruining it for those that actually want to hear the music. 

#3 Just Say No To The Front Row (Unless You're Actually There For Music) 

Multiple Choice: The front row is:

A. The place I go to yell, "Whooo! Whoo!!!" at the band after I've had one too many and before I go back to the bar and completely ignore them again 

B. Where I make cat eyes at the band members whose names I don't know and music I am not listening to just so that I can get backstage 

C. The place I go because I'm short and they don't let me bring in a stool 

D. Where I stand so I can see and appreciate the immense talent and effort that is being laid out for me to enjoy 

I think you know the right answer here. (C is also reasonable...) 

The front is the best, right? I think this feeling is the lingering result of "Line Leader Syndrome". We're taught from preschool on that being in the front of the line means your important, and thus that's where you want to be. 

But just like we learn front = awesome at a young age, we also learn this concept of want vs. need. This is something we're working on in our house right now. How a glass of water isn't a need at 4am, it's more of a want...that I'm going to promptly ignore... (Totally kidding, I totally didn't yell, "Swallow your spit!" at the baby monitor this morning....). But as I'm teaching my kids, let's consider want vs. need in the situation of standing in the front row at a concert.

Do you WANT to be in the front of the crowd because it's "the cool place to be" 

OR 

Do you NEED to be in the front of the crowd (and in the case of the other night the "loud, drunk, unable to take a hint from the band and shut up crowd") so you can truly appreciate the reason you came to this venue to begin with. 

Now, I'm sure everyone will say, "Well I NEED to be there because otherwise I can't see." 

Okaaaaaayyyyyyy........

I mean, from a stature perspective, I see your point. I'm short; always have been and apparently always will be as I have already started shrinking. It sucks to see nothing but armpits. But then I will follow it up with this: 

"How do you SEE music??" 

When I go to concerts, I do SEE music. I love to watch how the artist uses their instrument; how they hold it, how they look at it (or not look at it at all). It's incredibly visual to me at times. 

However, I would say the majority of people hear music. So, if that's the case for you, and oh I don't know, if maybe even HEARING the music is not necessarily as important as trying every beer on the bar's concert menu or telling the girl next to you how you know the cousin of the guy who owns the bus company that provided the tour bus for The Lumineers, then, why not move to the back and let people who want to be at the concert physically, visually, and audibly take your spot. 

Makes sense, right!?! 

#4 Do NOT Ask The Artist to Give YOU Something When They've Just Given You An Hour of Their Talent 

Multiple Choice: After the concert is over, do you: 

A. Ask the artist for something of their's to remember that awesome time you had at "that guy from The Lumineers" concert 

B. Bum rush the stage and just take things 

C. Offer a handshake and a thank you and then just never wash that hand again as a souvenir 

D. Go to social media, promote the hell of the person if they were amazing and help boost their career and confidence 

I would say C and D are both great choices here...except the washing your hands part...because that's gross (SIDE NOTE: Along with illegal outdoor activities, it is also not legal to leave a public bathroom without washing your hands. Okay, maybe it's not illegal, but I'm working on a petition...so we'll say YET...) 

At the concert I was at the other night, I was in the front row as I didn't wait until "that guy from The Lumineers" got up to perform. (Fun fact, people, "that guy from The Lumineers" was on with the first act playing accordion - he was actually there all night and you missed out on half of it....). I went up there to RESPECT and listen to the first and second acts who traveled quite a way to get here just for you to sit in the back, talk loudly, and ignore them...but I digress.....

Going back to Rule #3 I was there with plausible and valid front row reasoning.

The point I'm trying to make here is that I was both witness and victim of a #4 rulebreaker extreme. We'll call her Drunk Blonde Asshole Girl, or D-BAG for short. :) (Best. Acronym. Ever.) 

To be fair, I don't know if drunk is accurate, but I'm HOPING it is as I would be sad to find out people like her actually walk around doing these things sober....

So, the first act finishes, second act finishes, and the big show, Stelth, comes on (or BACK on actually...) to perform. It's time for everyone to push their way through the crowd of people who were there listening to the music and get their all-important placement in the front of the crowd. 

Oh, look who shows up. D-BAG. 

As Stelth is about to wrap up, I see her go up to him and point. It appears she is asking for a token of his appreciation for her attending his concert. Sure enough, he reaches over and hands her a setlist off the keyboard. But here's where things get a little crazy...and Jill almost gets herself in a fight....

As she is doing this, Stelth's guitar pick, which was sitting atop the playlist, goes flying. And yes, when I say singular, I mean the guy had 1 guitar pick up on stage with him. It happens, you forget things (like say 1/2 of your music for a wedding you're performing at 3 hours from home...and realize it when you're 2 hours and 45 minutes from home..) but I was surprised to see that was all he had. 

So, D-BAG and her friend see this happen. I see this happen. However, the girl from #2 (selfie girl) and her friend whose nipples I became rather familiar with by this point of the concert do not; and they are standing on it. 

My first reaction is to pick it up, and hand it back to Stelth; he's going to need it. So, I pick it up, D-BAG sees me do this, and I say to D-BAG's friend, "I'm giving this back to him. He's going to need it." 

D-BAG friends and THE D-BAG herself say, "You found it, you should keep it," to which I respond, "Well, he might need it so I'll hold on to it." 

For 2 whole minutes I held on to this pick as Stelth seemed to maybe or maybe not play an encore. And in those 2 minutes, I thought about how I was going to put it in my music room, maybe use it to play, or put it in a box with a photo from the concert. Something fun to remember it by and to draw some inspiration from. 

You know, geeky musician stuff. 

Well, 2 minutes later, Stelth does indeed play an encore. D-BAG at this point has made sure to block the stage as that is clearly her stage as she is suffering from "Line Leader Syndrome", and I start to panic. My brain is going into musician freakout mode. 

"Ah! He's going to need this back! He doesn't know he lost it! AAHHH!!!" 

If you don't play music, I imagine it's much like if you got up to give a speech, say at a wedding, school, as President of the United States (okay, the last one might not be that big of a deal obviously...) and you realized you didn't have it....like in the country you are giving the speech in....  

Then it happened: He got to the point of the song that he needed to do some serious strumming. I could see that look on his face: The, "Where the hell is it!?! I need that!" look. So I got the attention of D-BAG and told her to give him his pic so he could play. 

I felt like a hero....he was so relieved and thankful. But then, D-BAG did what all good d-bags do. Kill you slowly with how horrible of people they are....

With a setlist already in her pocket, Stelth gave the pick back to her at the end of the concert assuming she had found it and so graciously gave it back to him. 

Her response? She pocketed that too.  

I asked her if she was going to give it back to me and her simple D-BAG response was, "No." 

It was no then, and it was still no about 5 minutes later when I took her aside thinking she maybe had some level of non-self-absorbed, somewhat reasonable personal attributes that perhaps were just hidden by her clearly high level of simplicity and rudeness.  

But sadly, that was not the case. I had to leave the conversation with a simple, "Okay, well just know you are super rude, enjoy your "piano pick" and have a great night." 

I'm still a little bitter that I didn't get to take that guitar pick home as I would have appreciated it. But the point of this story is really this:

Your takeaway from a concert shouldn't be to leave with a physical memento to show everyone you were there. It's to appreciate the amazing talent before you, the crazy amount of talent and work that goes into each song you hear, and to know that you have been given someone's time and maximum effort to entertain you. 

So don't ask a musician to GIVE you something at the end of the concert. 

If they choose to, awesome. But they just gave you everything they had. So say THANK YOU or tell them how awesome it was. Not everything is about you.....Yeah, I'm talking to you D-BAGs of the world... :) 

In conclusion, I hope you gained from this somewhat humorous yet sadly accurate blog one major overlying point that applies to ALL experiences in your life. 

Be Respectful. Be Appreciative. Above All, Don't Be An Asshole. 

I wrote from my perspective as a musician; someone who is often seen as an entertainer, being paid to "make you happy"; in other cases just to "make you feel". And I'm more than okay with this. I am so thankful that I can make a career out of making people happy with my music. 

However, being in the service industry, doesn't make me your servant. I'm still a person with feelings, and those feelings still matter; on or off the stage. 

So outside of my advice for being an amazing summer concert-goer, I ask you to apply this theory to all areas of life. 

Next time your server at a restaurant is asking you how your food is, put your phone down, look them in the eye and speak to them. Ask them how they are doing. You know, be a nice person. 

When you're in line at the grocery store and the cashier begins speaking to you, have a conversation with them. They ask you if you found everything okay, respond. If it's super busy, you don't have to make lengthy conversation, but you can get off your phone, pay attention and make their job easier. 

All in all, just appreciate the world around you. Appreciate the effort, appreciate the sacrifice, appreciate what it takes just to do some of the things that we take for granted. 

And please, just don't be a D-BAG. :) 

Make today your best day yet! 

Jill~