So My Husband Wants Me To Talk About Running Etiquette...

Can I just tell you  ("Oh, yeah of course you can, Jill. Thanks, Jill...."), that one of the most exciting things happened in the last couple of weeks? And I mean, I lead an EXCITING life inclusive of going over to my parents and stealing the daily crosswords once a week, so things are about to get real here...

My excitement: The rugby posts went up at the park near our home.

No, WE did, friends...
I have a love for the sport as my husband played and, I mean let's face it, it's such a sweet sport. But it's all the more exciting as this is always a sign that we're out of winter. And if you've been following this blog since its conception (OMG, I just realized it's like we had a baby together and we're watching it grow up before our eyes...Awwww...) you know how I feel about winter. 

Winter is great except for being cold, and wet, and dark, and snowy, and long....and existing....




This past weekend (Note: I wrote this blog over the course of a week...so now I guess I'm talking the past, past weekend...), being in the 60s and 70s also solidified the truth of its end...as did Bug's sun-screened yet sunburnt nose. (She tans like her father; red or very red.)

Speaking of kids and this blog - You might have noticed I changed the name from Jill Bob Running Pants to OK Mom, Awesome Runnings Pants. Why???
Llamcorn don't care...

Because it's my blog, and like most other things in my life,

I do what I want. (As long as it's before 9pm....)


Another reason is that, as I'm writing more and more, I am finding that I spend just about as much time talking about my kids and my family life as I do about running. It's kind of hard not to. I mean, just answering the most basic question about running, it completely involves my family:

Why do you like to run? 
Because it keeps me sane enough to raise my children and not drink daily. Because I love my family and I don't want to hurt them, so I physically drain my resources running 30+ miles a week because that's fun for me. Because, clearly, I'm crazy??

Last week, my husband and I were talking about this blog thing and what really I'm hoping is gained from writing AND reading it; now and after the Cellcom Green Bay Marathon. The reason I started writing this blog was to chronicle my training for the marathon, true. But, as it's evolved I am seeing it as a bit more than that. Much of what I feel and say is that, I'm a normal, average mom/parent who understands that raising a family isn't all sunshine and sprinkles.

I also understand that making time for myself through running, working out, or anything else that makes me FEEL like a whole person, tends to take to the back burner after you have kids. But I want to focus on the fact that it shouldn't. We should take time for ourselves and not feel guilty about it. You shouldn't totally lose you.

Cue the new name: OK Mom, Awesome Running Pants. 

OK Mom: Because I'm an okay/decent mom.

Or is that "dec" as the cool kids say? Dec? Dees? Reese? Reeses Peanut Butter cups? Mmmm....man, those are good....) 

I might even be kind of an awesome mom at times. Yeah, that's right. I'm giving myself a pat on the back for some of the great things that my kids do. Here's a quick list:

A. They're freakin' weird and hilarious

2. They see that humor and laughing is a way to connect with others and is such a better method to approaching challenges than through negativity

And

IV. I can't count the number of times I have been told that they are kind and nice to others. That's my biggest pride. My kids are NICE people.


Pat, pat, you're a good mom. Moving on.....


Awesome Running Pants - Because we should celebrate our personal interests and not feel bad for taking time out for ourselves. Be awesome, not fearful to put it out there what you're good at and what you enjoy that is self-serving.

End of Story.

On to today's topic....Ross, my husband, asked me to talk to you guys about running etiquette. In fact his exact words after coming home from work at 6:30am the other day were, "Did you write a blog yet on running etiquette? Because..." 

He then proceeded to tell me about a group of runners running down a local and very busy 45mph road 3-wide. This 3-wide option did not change when approached with both oncoming and passing traffic, causing traffic difficulty for both drivers; him being one.


Add to this my mom telling me about another set of local runners (males in this case, so not the same set) running 3-wide going up a VERY dangerous local hill at 5am...in all black, one with a small red flashing light on his head.

Now why do they tell me these stories?

Because I'm Wonder Woman and need to be aware of the perils of our neighborhood? 
I mean, it's totally plausible.

But my better judgement would tell me it's because I am a runner, and we runners, like all stereotypes forced onto groups of individuals who share commonalities, should be able to tell other people why "we" do these things. I feel like the question is,

"Why are you runners like this?"
Also a no. I don't want to ever see this day...

Well....let me be the first to say....

Oh No. No You Didn't. 

The real problem here is that these sets of runners are not only putting themselves at risk, but as this happens often (they are seen out daily) and they are causing enough concern and difficulty for drivers, they are becoming the example.

But let me set the record clear, just because these runners are putting their lives in danger repeatedly, they are NOT the normal runner, nor do they represent me, Mrs. OK Mom, Awesome Running Pants. 

They are outliers and set a bad example for the sport.
Love this 

See, I have this little gift called life and I appreciate this one time, non-chargeable or returnable gift immensely. That said, while out for a run, an activity that is meant to prolong life, I find it a bit ironic that one would even think to put themselves in front of a machine going 10x their rate of speed, weighing 10x what they do and assume they are safe and can just continue tralala-ing down the road.

(Tralala-ing - Carelessly running in a busy road without heeding to traffic, headphones on full blast and also talking on one's phone or to a fellow jogger who is running right next to them, also tralala-ing.)  

I've seen it time and time again, and believe me, even as a runner who understands the sidewalks can be slippery, ditches can be steep, and your running watch can be a demanding little demon against you slowing down to heed to traffic, it still isn't okay to put yourself or a driver in either of the situations described above.

HOWEVER, I will also say, this goes both ways. 

Case in point: I was out running on a relatively busy city street on my training route a couple week's back. I came to an all-way stop, and a couple of cars were at the stop sign in line to turn right at the cross section. The first car and I communicated through hand gestures; first waving me on, then I waved then on, then they waved back to tell me they were going...you know, the wave game.

After they went, I made the assumption the car behind them would also stop at the stop sign and had witnessed the previous wave, wave, wave interaction with the first car. What I did not expect is that they would not stop at the stop sign at all. Like not even a brief pause; he was going right through it.

In the end, I am pretty sure his facial expression told me what happened in his shorts as I quickly reverted back to the crosswalk to avoid the collision.

So runners, drivers, let's be honest: We all kind of suck at watching out for each other. 

It's okay to admit, we get distracted. HOPEFULLY not in the texting/Facebooking/blowdrying your hair while drive sense, but we have a lot on our plates. We might be thinking about our drive/run or the cars around us, what's going on that day at work, the fight over who's the better Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle going on in the back seat/jogging stroller...the possibilities are endless and the human brain can only handle so much processing at one time.


I typically go the Vanilla Ice direction...
But as the weather is getting nicer and more and more walkers, runners, cyclists, geese, etc. are going to be out and about with vehicles, let's all try a little something I like to call....

STOP - Stop. Think. Observe. Protect. 

STOP 
Runners - If traffic is coming from both ways and you're in a predicament that allows for no other alternatives, STOP. Like seriously, stop running and get out of the way. You will not win a runner vs. car battle.
It won't hurt your time to stop and get in the ditch for 3 seconds and let traffic pass. What will hurt is a car hitting you. I mean, I'm assuming it would...I guess
I don't want to test my theory. 

Fast-forward this photo
 10 years & Ady's face
will be the
same one I make teaching JD
to drive...but with tears of fear..
Drivers - If you're supposed to stop, actually do that. It can be easy to just look left and pull out when you're going right. But having nearly gotten hit from this maneuver time and time again, I urge you: Don't roll through a stop sign/light/out your driveway just because you've done it before and no one has been there. And do not stop in the crosswalk. Stop before it, then pull forward if you can't see. (Remember that rule from Driver's Ed class? It's like the only thing I remember, other than something about driving with people on the top of your car is a bad thing...)

THINK 
Runners - This is a pre-gamer really. When you go out, THINK about your conditions and your own safety. Don't ever assume a car is going to see you because it's day time. Reflective gear (I have something as simple as elastic bands I wear on my arms that reflect to wear in the daytime even), lights, reflective clothing (ahem..not wearing ALL black in the dark), or changing your running route when conditions suggest it. Like, I don't know, if it's snowy and slippery MAYBE don't run up a blind hill 3-wide...just saying....

Your headphones should not be on full blast, and the noise cancelling/bud ones can also be very dangerous doing what makes them awesome; 
cancelling out the sounds of children screaming that their sibling is looking at them funny. 

A possible option: I like to play music with one in/one out so I can still hear the music but be aware of my surroundings. It might be worth a try. :)
All in all, YOU need to think about yourself before you go out. Don't wait until a dangerous situation arises. Be Proactive! 

Drivers - One simple idea outside of following the normal rules of the road: Consider the weather. Is it the first nice day of the year, sunny and you are thinking to yourself, "I gotta get out and enjoy this day!"? Well, you aren't the only one! 

As a runner, if I look outside, see light winds and sunshine, I know with 100% certainty I'm going to sneak in an outdoor run at some point. Be aware of the extra traffic out on these days, and that not every walker/runner/cyclist is going to make the absolute best decisions while out and about. Be extra defensive. 

OBSERVE 

Runners - This one is easy. Some drivers will tell you if you're doing something they do or don't like. Look for facial and/or hand expressions. A horn (or my ANGRY/HEY! I KNOW THAT PERSON! button as I like to call it) might be a good indicator too. You can also observe on your own through a little game called,

"If my mom were here, would she yell at me?" or as I now play it: "Does this require a timeout?" 

For instance: If my kids were running 2-wide IN the road, in all black on a foggy day while there was traffic coming both ways, I would:

1. Assume there was some sort of zombie attack at the house or Dad ate bad nachos again and they had to evacuate quickly

OR

2. Know we need to have a SERIOUS conversation with them about not being idiots...with or without using the word idiots.

Another idea: Try to observe from the other perspective. If you were the one driving right now, how would you feel about this situation? Would it put you on edge as the driver? Would it cause you to have to make a brash decision? 

Drivers - See above, but just reverse the roles. Enough said.

PROTECT 
Runners & Drivers - As I said before, my proudest mom moment has to be that I have been told by teachers and others that my children are nice. In fact, my son just brought home a note again the other day from a classmate that said, "JD, you are nis." I assume he was right when he told me that nis = nice; although it could be another one of those short for something else words that I don't know because I'm old.

Nice is great, but we all have our limits. They're only so many times I can tell my children to stop jumping off the coffee table and explain why before I take the coffee table to the backyard, start it on fire and say, "There, no more jumping." (Totally kidding...we don't even have a coffee table...)

My point is, eventually when I experience something that annoys me again and again, nice isn't only no longer in my vocabulary, but it's no longer serving a purpose. There are moments where nice or a "rainbow and sprinkles" approach isn't only something we can't do, but it's not going to help the situation.

There A really 2 different ways to Protect. 



Let's go back to the situation with runners. 

Now in both of these situations my hubby and my mom experienced, the first time you would see it, I would hope you would resort to being nice and/or the first level of protection: 

Protecting the lives of the runners
Even if you do it while muttering under your breath about how dangerous and annoyed you are with this behavior, we have a natural response to protect each other.

However, if you see this time and time again and simply go around the problem, you are no longer protecting them or yourself. The second level of protection would be:

Protecting by intervening 
By saying something, you can go beyond just reacting to potentially preventing a negative end result (in this case, that they NOT get hit by a car). If not that, it'll at least give yourself peace of mind that you tried. 

And now, I'm not saying to roll down the window, yell something at them, and then drive on. Unless you can get out something like, 

"Hey, I really respect your dedication to your sport, but your choices to run in non-reflective clothing in the road in the dark puts me in a difficult situation, and I do not want to hit you. So could you please help me protect you and wear reflective clothing, not run in the road/3-wide on this blind curve, and re-consider running this route when it's heavy rain/snow? These 3 things would immensely assist me in ensuring that I do not run you over.
 Thaaannnkkkkssss!" 

My sister likes to tell me that I'm the one in the family that isn't afraid to say what I'm thinking. True. I'm not. But, I think it's because I know if I'm going to say something it's: 

First World and a Brain Fart 
1. Because something NEEDS to be said for protection reasons; mine or someone I loves 
2. Because I try to be sure to use "I feel" and not accuse someone of making poor choices or degrade their character AND even more importantly back my feelings with concrete reasoning, not accusations 

I know my example here, the runner vs. driver issue, is a first-world problem. 

Being able to drive a car and have your only concern be that you might hit someone out running freely on a road is not an every day survival thought so many MANY people across the world. 

But as I find with many of my running analogies and things I have thought of out for a long run, this principle of protecting others through the STOP approach can really apply to so many walks of life. 

If you approach a situation, a disagreement, a confrontational person with genuine care, the outcome can be more positive behavior and a better relationship on both sides. 

See! Cars and runners can get along! We can be one on the road! Doesn't that feel great?!?! 

Now to talk about those pesky cyclists and their right to the road..... :) 




Make today your best day yet! 

Jill~ 










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